Public shame is a form of motivation, right?

If teachers used it with joyful abandon every school year, it must be effective. Surely? Or maybe they just enjoyed being sadistic... anyway! Today's announcement:

I am doing NaNoWriMo.

Not sure who still reads this, but I am announcing this to my virtual and real friends through a variety of mediums so that I won't be able to get out of it. By which I mean, if I 'forget' to do it, or give up after 2 days, feel free to hassle me.

And I totally meant to do a post telling you about my visit to the Quakers/Society of Friends, but forgot. That'll be here later this week, but it probably won't be as long as the Russian Orthodox post.

Today's mission

... is to have an Introvert's Adventure. Have been feeling rather off-kilter the last wee while, and doing the whole "I am an extrovert! Really! I can spend lots of time around people and not get arrgh glug" thing. So this morning, instead of going to church, I shall take time out to disappear from the world and recharge. I'm going to do some (or, if I can, all) of the following:

• Go for a longish walk, preferably somewhere green.
• Find a good book at a library and soak my head in it.
• Do a few blog posts, write a journal entry, or do some form of creative writing.
• Think. Contemplate. Live in my head without sabotaging myself. Drain any negative thoughts that shouldn't be there.
• Listen to music I adore.
• Draw, doodle, make origami, play... make something creative.
• Take my time. Sit and just be. Enjoy the aloneness.

I'm kicking it off by listening to Thrice's Come All You Weary. See you in the world.

I'm graduating tomorrow

... and super excited about it. Which is weird, because until I went to get the regalia at lunch time I was feeling a bit 'meh' about it, what with the post-holiday malaise and things. But I get to wear the CPIT scarf (which is a lot prettier and easier to wear than the Canterbury hood), and be part of the procession from the Arts Centre and the best part is I get the day off work. I was pretty lucky to get it, so I'm stoked.

So if you meet me or catch me online and notice that I'm acting like a smug bastard, that's why. It's amazing how different a set of clothes can make you feel. Maybe graduation regalia has magical threads stitched into it that bestow feelings of invincibility?

It almost makes up for all that insomnia and lecturers quitting and insane assignments of doom :)

Holiday reading

So I'm going on holiday in a week, and need some light but absorbing book(s) to read. I'm taking Paradise Lost, but something else that's a little more relaxing and indulgent to balance it out would be cool. I'd be keen to try pretty well any genre, just as long as it doesn't require too much academic material. Any suggestions?

Face mask recipe

I randomly watched some cooking/hippy/sustainability show last weekend and they had a recipe for a facemask made from fruit and things. The presenter kept referring to kiwifruit as 'kiwis', which led to some amusing sentences. Apparently, Kiwis come from a similar climate to the UK, can do really well if you put them in a south-facing area, and have to be mashed properly.

He got halfway through the recipe before I thought to write it down, so bear in mind it's a tad vague. Have a play around with the order that you mix the ingredients (like you would with most recipes) to get it to work right for you.

Fruity Facemask

Ingredients:

• 2 limes. You'll use their juice.
• 2 kiwifruit
• 1 papaya
• 1 smallish packet of gelatin

Method:

1. Crush and mash the kiwifruit.
2. Scoop out the flesh of the papaya and mash it. Put it in a separate bowl from the kiwifruit.
3. Double-boil the papaya on the stove, and stir in the gelatin. (I think... the presenter was a little unclear on this step). Not sure what temperature, but have a play.
4. Take the papaya mash off the element once it has been heated.
5. Gradually stir the lime juice into the papaya. Keep whisking the papaya so it doesn't set.
6. Mix the kiwifruit mash in with the papaya mash.
7. Let the mixture cool and set before you apply it.

Leave on for:

10 minutes - 1 hour. Always spot-test your skin first, in case of allergies.

Lasts for:

2 days. Keep refrigerated in a jar or other closed container.

Religious cynicism: a late night ponder

So I've been thinking about cynicism and Christianity and the dovetail of losing one's faith and gaining critical thinking skills. I've watched people lose their faith, gain faith, become stronger or weaker in their faith, hop from one side of the fence to the other in indecision, and develop an alternative strain of faith.

Note: I'm fully aware that "faith" is an incredibly tricky word with lots of nuances; that it means different things to different people. Bear with me here and insert whatever meaning you give that word.

I've watched the way people have dealt with these situations; both their own situations and the they way they've dealt with other people in similar circumstances. I've seen people quietly trickle away from the church world, people storm out in a flame of anger (and in one case, it sounded more like the person used a case of grenades), and people hang around making venomous, bitter barbs at appropriate moments.

One of the things that all these scenarios have in common is that the people involved developed a certain level of cynicism and became critical about the church. It's a fairly natural stage: you were heavily involved in a sub-culture, and to move out of it you need to distance yourself and view it in a different light. Cynicism also seems to be a natural stage of the journey from fundy to liberal to whatever comes next.

But after a while, people tone the cynicism down and move on. Mostly they figure the Christian phase was a few years of their life, or their childhood, but it's over. Or if they stay within the church, they figure out a way to do so with the minimum level of cognitive dissonance possible. World-views can always be rebuilt, right?

I've noticed a correlation between the level of cynicism post-Christianity (or being more vocal about it) and the depth of sincerity that people had when they were still Christians. The more you believed it, the more heavily involved you were, the heavier the toll. It's harder to leave, harder to reconcile your life and choose a new way of thinking without coming across shreds of the older way that tear you up.

And I've noticed that I'm still as cynical as I was 5 years ago when things first started falling apart. I haven't been able to state without qualm "yeah I'm not a Christian" or "yeah I am", because I still don't know where I stand. That probably doesn't help. But as true as the mess of churchiness is, I'd kinda like to move on and create something or do something positive for a change. There's no point whinging endlessly about something if you're not going to do something to make it better.

But I've got no idea what I can do. Becoming more involved in church seems a little unwise, given my current situation. I know some of you have been here before. Suggestions?

Being sick and other revelations

I can't remember what I used to write as blog posts, possibly pithy phrases about something starting with 'P' (how Pentecostal youth pastor of me), but probably not. I'm sick, so I thought I'd write a blog post and see if I can start a new habit of actually using my blog. This means I'll have to find things of worth to write about, as opposed to writing meaningless, indulgent poetry when I'm tipsy - drats! Real work! :P

So, where to start? I'm not sure, so I'm going to list things I've enjoyed or discovered or whatever in the last wee while.

Places to get a good hot chocolate or mocha:

• The chocolate shop in Parnell (forgotten the name, sorry!).
• The Chocolate Lounge at Riccarton Mall. Real chocolate with chilli, yum!
• Toast, in Sol Square. Haven't tried their hot chocs, but the mochas are absolutely fantastic. They give you a glass of milk and coffee, and a shot glass full of chocolate bits on the side. The plate that accompanies the glasses is drizzled with white chocolate pieces and chocolate sprats. So. GOOD. You can get quite absorbed in the ritual of tipping or spooning the chocolate in, then stirring it, then tipping, then... yeah, I'm addicted.

Comedic gold I've been introduced to or discovered:

• The Lonely Island
  
• Flanders and Swann. Turns out the song my history high school teacher played to our 6th form class as an example of xenophobia was actually one of their parodies. She must have loved the expressions on our faces - we were horrified and offended and thought it was a sincere song! I wish I could find her and give her a hug for that alone (she was a brilliant teacher anyway, this just adds that little bit extra).
  
• Surviving the World 
• Twilight. The writing is so bad it's actually good. I laughed in places I'm pretty sure were meant to be romantic or atmospheric or scary. Seriously, though: vampires that sparkle in the sun and gush sweet nothings like mindless fanboys? It deserves to be laughed at.
• The Chaser's War: Public Service Announcement.
• Scared Scriptless. I went for the first time ever about a month or so ago and absolutely loved it. Can't think why I never went before, but I'm definitely going back.
• I'm sure there's more that I've forgotten, so here's a bullet point to commemorate them.

Well, there went my brief burst of energy. If you know of any other places that do great hot chocolates (or comedy, for that matter), feel free to comment. Oooh, and if you think there's anything I should write a post about, leave a comment. At the very least, it means my blog will be slightly less dormant (although I'm not sure that's a good thing).